One Line Humor

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving..
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired..
[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me..
[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you..
[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24] Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like
asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Restore Your Computers Performance

If you think that your computer is not giving that kind of performance that it was giving about six months or a year back when it was new, then might your systems performance has degraded. This does happens with due course of time, with the softwares being installed and un-installed from the computer.
If you are using Windows Xp then this OS does contain some tools that might help you restoring your computers performance. I will be telling you know about these tools.
Just before trying all, do take Backup of your data. At least for the Root directory.

• Remove Unused Programs : Now this is the most common tip that must be followed to make a good start. As soon as you decide that you wont be using that software anymore, go ahead and uninstall it from Control Panel –> Add/Remove Programs. These softwares when unused remains in your computer and lowers its performance. You might need to restart your computer in some cases, do restart and follow the same if you have any other unused programs.
• Run Disk Cleanup : Removing unused files like Temporary Internet Files, Recycle Bin and other files with the help of Disk cleanup. You can access it by going into My computer –> Local Drive Properties –> Disk Cleanup. Click this button and it will analyze your computer and show you that which all files can be deleted and how much space can be taken out from it. Click on OK and your files will be removed by the tool. You must run this cleanup at least once in a Month. Also If you are having multiple drives, do perform the same operation on others.
• Defragment Your Drives : Lets first see that what is fragmented files and Defragmented files.
  Fragmented files would be the one which we can say as scattered. As these files are saved and edited from time to time therefore they get saved onto different sectors of Hard Drive. This makes computer more time to search for it and show the correct page.
  This image will make things more clear.
   
• Disk Defragmenter collects all the similar files and take them to a single place or sector in a drive, this makes computer in finding the files more easily and more Quickly.
  
  You can run this tool once in six months, also depending on your usage. You can access this tool by going onto Start –> Programs –> Accessories –> System Tools –> Disk Defragmenter.
• Remove Unused Network Connections : If you have ever made a network with one or more than one computers then you must have realized that it is really easy to share data. Now the problem is that when Windows boots, it patiently waits for the other computer to respond on the network, if not then it keeps on waiting, making you irate, untill it gets a proper answer from the other computer or till the time outs. This makes the system really slow specially during Boot process. Now to disable that, Right click on "My network places" and click "Disconnect Network Drive", it will show you all the drive to disconnect and you can choose from there, which are of no use.
• Remove Startup Items : When computer Boots, you would be able to see the some icons in the System Tray, these might look to you as shortcuts but they are like Burden on your computer as computer has to start each of these application and thus making it slower. These Startup items can be removed by a called "msconfig". Go to Run –> type msconfig and click Startup tab. In that tab click "Disable all" and the Restart you computer. Now this will make the booting of your computer real fast.

These were some of the tips to restore your computers performance levels. Do try them at your computer and see the difference.

5 Myths About Computers

Myth #1: Use screensavers to save power. It would be nice if the “saver” part referred to energy savings: you could look at photos of mountain vistas or cute kittens and feel good about the habitats and animals you’re helping out. Sadly, screensavers were designed to extend the life of monochrome CRT monitors. No one uses those any more, and no one should use screensavers.



Screensavers can actually boost electricity use by preventing computers from entering energy-saving sleep modes. Plus, active monitors generate more heat, making air conditioners work harder. Get rid of your screensavers, no matter how cute the kittens are.



Myth #2: Devices that are turned off don’t use power. Many devices sip power even when they’re not really on. TVs, for example, are always watching for you to click the remote and so constantly draw some electricity. This standby power, also called vampire power or phantom load, is used by any device with a clock, timer or touchpad. And chargers draw power even when their phones or computers aren’t connected to them. According to Natural Resources Canada, standby power accounts for five to 10 per cent of all electricity used in Canadian homes.



At the office or home office, plug all your equipment (PCs, monitors, speakers, scanners and printers) into a power bar and flick the bar’s switch when you’re not working.



Myth #3: Switching off computers is bad for them. It’s a persistent myth that repeated on/off cycles damage computers. However, a study at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory concluded hard drives, for example, are not harmed by frequent shutdowns, and a sustainability paper from the University of British Columbia found computer components are actually harmed most by the heat stress created when a PC is on. The only component worn out by on/off cycles is the actual power switch and “they are typically rated for 40,000 on/off cycles. Over a 10 year period, you would have to turn your computer on and off 11 times a day, 365 days per year to hit 40,000.”

If you’re not using your computer, turn it off.

Myth #4: If I’m not actually working on it, my PC doesn’t use much power. Not true either. According to the Harvard Green Campus Initiative, whether idling or crunching big spreadsheet numbers, computers use about 45 watts for the CPU and 80 watts for a CRT monitor. 



Enabling the energy-saving features on newer PCs, however, drops consumption to about 15 watts total.



Myth #5: My one little computer can’t be that big a deal. Also from Harvard comes this eye-opening number: one desktop computer left on all day is responsible for more than 1,500 pounds of atmospheric CO2 over a year.



All of which means, as a minimum, turn off office PCs and peripherals when they’re not in use, and get rid of screensavers. To save even more electricity, slay those vampires with power bars. A power bar at every workstation may cost some money up-front but that investment will come back as long-term savings and the positive feeling that you’ve actually done some good.

Teach your children the hidden meanings Behind Junk Food Advertisement

parents are children's first line of defense against an array of negative influences. Constant barrages of unsavory images promoting foods of little or no nutritious value are common place. The sky rains with products of expediency but offers little hope for finding products that promote a better state of mind or body. As guardians we do our best to erect shields to block and deflect the poisonous arrows of harmful advertising. The reason we often fail is simply because we underestimate the power advertising wields. Or because we don't really understand how advertising works. Plainly speaking, as adults we find ourselves at times swirling in the bravado of false promises these products spew.

The key to combating this successfully, I believe, is to first know that the word, "advertisement or advertise" is derived from the French word "avertissement" which means warning or caution. I recommend we make this the first response when watching commercials of any kind. If we consistently acted on the side of caution, I'm sure certain foods could be avoided all together.

Second, children are constantly exposed to advertising messages designed to make them believe they can't live without a certain product. Hence the influential power of the medium. But how does it work? Understand that we purchase based on emotions. How we feel about a product determines if we will buy it or not. It all begins with what advertisers have coined as the think-feel-do model of message effects, which presumes that we approach a purchase situation using a sequence of responses. In other words, we think about something, then we form an opinion or attitude about it (feel) and finally we take action and try it or buy it (do). Advertising helps shape our attitude favorably about a product to entice us to buy. A simple process it seems, but so difficult to master as a consumer.

I believe our biggest problem as consumers is that we bypass the thinking part and dive head first into the feel part of decision making. That is always a mistake. Worse, we pass this behavior to our children. In no way am I concluding that all advertising is bad. But once we take to heart that the manipulations of target marketing can increase the likelihood of obesity poor nutrition, eating disorders, cigarette and alcohol use in children and adolescents, then perhaps we will improve our knowledge and acquire tools to use to offset the effects. Unfortunately, there is no way to completely avoid advertising targeted to children, but there are some things you can do to reduce the effects:

1. Limit television and Internet use to no more than two hours a day each.

2. Teach your children how to interpret advertising messages. Explain to older children the purpose of advertising and the mind tricks they use in their messages.

3. Instill values in your children consistently. Help build their sense of self and self esteem so that they understand that material things will not make them better people. Involve your children in extracurricular activities to keep them active and stimulated. Work with your children to make sure they achieve a healthy body image despite what the media culture considers attractive.

4. Lastly, but I will dare say the most important -- practice what you preach. Mr. Douglas Castle, CIOF Director of Strategic Planning, once shared that a parent's credibility is worthless if not followed by consistent action.

The effective way to handle the influence of advertisements is to live the healthy example you wish your children to practice. Build a pattern of behavior that is consistent with what you want for your child. In fact we should be flesh and blood advertisements to our children. Are they not exposed to us more than television? If not, then that is where the true problem lies.

Mega Upload Downloading Unlimiting Secret

If your using Firefox, there is an addon that allows you to bypass the Megaupload bit where it says country slots are full, or you have downloaded too much so soon.

It's called Megaupload SX.3.2, With this addon, you can download more than two or three links at the same time from Megaupload.

This add-on works with Mozilla 1.5 to 2.x.x


Link are Showing Down

https://addons. mozilla.org/ es-ES/firefox/ addon/3843

Your Second Idea

1. Get Firefox. ( http://www.mozilla. com/en-US/ firefox/ )

2. Type in the address bar - about:config

3. Type in the filter box - general.useragent. extra.firefox

4. Double click on it.

5. Type this in the box that appeared - Firefox/2.0 MEGAUPLOAD 1.0

6. ok.that's it.


It works great. finally dont get the "slots are full" thing anymore, but warning... turn this off when u visit other sites, or they look mess with firefox.

HOW HAPPY IS LIFE WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND

Reasons why LIFE without a Girl Friend is cool

1. You can stare at any Girl.......

2. You don't have to spend money on her.

3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.

4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.

5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.

6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.

7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.

8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.

9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.

10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.

11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters. - Be a paFun_Karachirt of Fun_Karachi No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.

12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.

13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.

14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.

15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.

16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend with ur folks.

17.. No nonstop nonsense.

18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.

19. No tension.

20. You can be "urself"

21.. You won't have to hide your telephone bills......




So Try to AVOID Girl Friends in your Life...!.

10 calculations you should know

10 Calculation To Know The value of investments is only as much as their returns. So, it is critical to know how much your money is worth to plan your financial goals

Managing money can involve calculations to understand the worth of an investment. To arrive at a result, calculations can be done in a different way or by using a different formula. Even the same formula can be used differently to arrive at a certain result. Here are a few commonly used money management formulas. Use an excel sheet to do these. 1. Compound Interest I want to take a loan of Rs 1 lakh to buy a used car. How much will the car cost me at an annual interest rate of 8 per cent for four years? The compound interest formula can be used here to calculate the final cost, which would include the loan amount and the interest paid. The amount that is actually paid for Rs 1 lakh is Rs 1,36,048.90. The total amount of interest charged for borrowing Rs 1 lakh is Rs 36,048.90. Formula: Future value = P(1 + R)^N  Type in: =100000(1+8% )^4 and hit enter. P: amount borrowed; R: rate of interest; N: time in years. Also used for: Calculating the maturity value on lumpsum investment (bank fixed deposits and National Savings Certificate, for example) over a fixed period at a certain rate of interest. 2. Compound Annualised Growth Rate I had invested Rs 1 lakh in a mutual fund five years back at an NAV of Rs 20. Now the NAV is Rs 70. How should I calculate my returns on an annual basis? Compound annualised growth rate (CAGR) will be used here to calculate the growth over a period of time. The gain of Rs 50 over five years on the initial NAV of Rs 20 is a simple return of 250 per cent (50/20 * 100). However, it should not be construed as 50 per cent average return over five years. Formula: CAGR = {[(M/I)^(1/N) ] – 1} * 100 Type in: =(((70/20)^( 1/5))-1)* 100 and hit enter. M: maturity value; I: initial value; N: time in years. CAGR here is 28.47%. Also used for: Calculating the annualised returns on a lumpsum investment in shares. 3. Internal Rate of Return I paid Rs 18,572 every year on a moneyback insurance policy bought 20 years back. Every fifth year, I received Rs 40,000 back and Rs 4.5 lakh on maturity. What was my rate of return? The internal rate of return (IRR) has to be calculated here. It is the interest rate accrued on an investment that has outflows and inflows at the same regular periods. In the excel page type Rs 18,572 as a negative figure (-18572), as it is an outflow, in the first cell. Paste the same figure till the twentieth cell. Then, as every fifth year has an inflow of Rs 40,000, type in Rs 21,428 (40,000-18,572) in every fifth cell. In the twentieth cell, type in –18572. In the twenty first cell, type in Rs 4,50,000, which is the maturity value of the policy. Then click on the cell below it and type:  = IRR(A1:A21) and hit enter. 5.28% will show in the cell. This is your internal rate of return. Also used for: Calculating returns on insurance endowment policies. A   -18572   -18572   -18572   -18572   21428   -18572   -18572   -18572   -18572   21428   -18572   -18572   -18572   -18572   21428   -18572   -18572   -18572   -18572   -18572   450000   5.28%   4. XIRR I bought 500 shares on 1 January 2007 at Rs 220, 100 shares on 10 January at Rs 185 and 50 shares at Rs 165 on 18 May 2008. On 21 June 2008, I sold off all the 650 shares at Rs 655. What is the return on my investment? XIRR is used to determine the IRR when the outflows and inflows are at different periods. Calculation is similar to IRR’s. Transaction date is mentioned on the left of the transaction. In an excel sheet type out the data from the top most cell as shown here. Outflows figures are in negative and inflows in positive. In the cell below  with the figure 4,25,750, type out =XIRR (B1:B4,A1:A4) *100  Hit enter. The cell will show 122.95%, the total return on investment. Also used for: Calculating MF returns, especially SIP, or that for unit-linked insurance plans. A   B   1-Jan-07   -110000   10-Jan-07   -18500   18-May-08   -8250   21-Jun-08   425750     122.95%     5. Post-Tax Return My father wants a bank FD at 10 per cent return for five years. He pays income tax. What will be the returns? The post-tax return has to be calculated here. The idea is to know the final returns on a fully taxable income. Interest income from the bank is taxed as per your tax slab. Formula:  ROI – (ROI * TR)=Post-tax return  Type in: =10 – (10 * 30.9%)  and hit enter. You will get 6.91% ROI: rate of interest; TR: tax rate (depends on tax slab) Also used for: Calculating post-tax returns of national savings certificates, post-office time deposits, and Senior Citizens’ Savings Scheme.   6. Pre-Tax Yield My brother says that the investment in public provident fund (PPF), which gives 8 per cent, is the best. Isn’t 8 per cent a low rate of return? An investment’s pre-tax yield tells us if its return is high or low. The return on PPF (8 per cent) is tax-free. Also, this has to compared with returns of a taxable income to estimate its worth. For someone paying a tax of 30.9 per cent, the pre-tax yield in PPF is 11.57 per cent. At present, there is no fixed, safe and assured-return option that has 11.57 per cent return and a post-tax return comparable to PPF’s 8 per cent. Formula: Pre-tax yield = ROI / (100-TR)*100 Type in: =8/(100-30.9) *100 and hit enter. You will get 11.57%. ROI: rate of interest, TR: tax rate, (depends on tax slab) Also used for: Calculating the yield on an Employees’ Provident Fund or any other tax-free instrument. 7. Inflation My family’s monthly expense is Rs 50,000. At an inflation rate of 5 per cent, how much will I need 20 years hence with the same expenses? The required amount can be calculated using the standard future value formula. Inflation means that over a period of time, you need more money to fund the same expense.  Formula: Required amt.=Present amt. *(1+inflation) ^no. of years Type in: =50000*(1+5% or .05)^20 and hit enter. You will get Rs 1,32,664 as the answer, which is the required amount. Also used for: Calculating maturity value on an investment. 8. Purchasing Power My family’s monthly expense is Rs 50,000. At an inflation rate of 5 per cent, how much will be the purchasing value of that amount after 20 years? Inflation increases the amount you need to spend to fetch the same article and in a way reduces the purchasing power of the rupee. Here, Rs 50,000 after 20 years at an inflation of 5 per cent will be able to buy goods worth Rs 18,844 only. Formula: Reduced amt.= Present amt. / (1 + inflation) ^no. of yrs Type in: =50000/(1+5% )^20 and hit enter. You will get Rs 18,844, which is the reduced amount. 9. Real Rate of Return My father wants to make a one-year bank FD at 9 per cent. On maturity, he says, the capital will be preserved and he would get assured return on it. It is true that fixed deposit is safe and gives assured returns. However, after adjusting for inflation, the real rate of return can be negative.  Formula: Real rate of return=[(1+ROR) /(1+i)-1] *100 Type in: =((1+9%)/(1+ 11%)-1)*100 and hit enter. -1.8% is the real rate of return. ROR: Rate of return per annum; i: rate of inflation (11 per cent here). 10. Doubling, Tripling of Money I can get 12 per cent return on my equity investments. In how many years can I double or even triple my money? Formula: No. of years to double = 72/expected return Type in: =72/12 and hit enter. You will get 6 years. For tripling, type in: =114/12 and hit enter. You will get 9.5 years. For quadrupling, type in: =144/12 and hit enter to get 12 years.

VERY INTERESTING AND INFORMATIVE THINGS

1	If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side
2	If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3	Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4	Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
5	The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.
6	The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7	The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
8	The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9	Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10	The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11	Dalmatians are born without spots.
12	Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
13	The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings)
14	Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left
15	The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids
16	The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee
17	Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks
18	The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones
19	Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die
20	Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart
21	The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate
22	When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red
23	When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red
24	The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor
25	The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney
26	Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros
27	Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan
28	It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it
29	The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples
30	There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower
31	The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting
32	Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death
33	It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body
34	The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
35	Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game
36	The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air
37	Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die
38	In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling).
39	Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
40	The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot
41	Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
42	The average person laughs 13 times a day
43	Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)
44	Women blink nearly twice as much as men
45	German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog
46	Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump
47	Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound
48	Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death
49	If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.
50	The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

Roman Numerals

The numeric system known today as Roman Numerals utilizes only seven symbols, which are added and subtracted to form any number. A superscript bar over a number multiplies it by 1,000, and two vertical lines in addition to the superscript bar multiply a number by 100,000. Thus the common symbols are:

I = 1 V = 5 X = 10 L = 50 C = 100 D = 500 M = 1,000

= 5,000 = 10,000 = 50,000 = 100,000 = 500,000 = 1,000,000

= 1,000,000 = 10,000,000 = 100,000,000 = 16,000 etc. = 1,600,000 etc.

There was no symbol for zero

The rule is that when two figures are side by side, if the smaller is on the right, it is added to the larger, and if it is on the left, it is subtracted from the larger. So, VI = 6 and IV = 4. Exceptions to this rule are very rare.

Modern rules have also been added, and are that:

• No more than three of the same symbol can be repeated in a row, and V and L are never repeated.
• The smaller number preceeding a larger number cannot be more than two values lower than the other or be one-half of it. This leaves IV, IX, VL, XL, XC, LD, CD, and CM as the normal pairings, so we will most likely see 1999 written as MCMXCIX rather than MIM.

In reality, these rules were never followed by the Romans. To start, they used more than these seven symbols, and M was used only as an abbreviation of mille or milia, not used in combination with other symbols until the 15^th century. Repetitions of numbers often exceeded the rule of three, but V and L were never repeated. Values including VIIII and even XXXXXX were common. The following table shows how much the symbols vary.

1. I	14. XIV	90. XC or LXXXX
2. II	15. XV	100. C
3. III	16. XVI	200. CC
4. IIII or IV	17. XVII	300. CCC
5. V	18. XVIII or XIIX	400. CCCC or C
6. VI or	19. XIX or XVIIII	500. D or I or
7. VII	20. XX	600. I C
8. VIII or IIX	30. XXX	700. I CC
9. VIIII or IX	40. XL or XXXX	800. I CCC
10. X	50. L	900. I CCCC
11. XI	60. LX	1,000. CI or M or or
12. XII	70. LXX	10,000. CCI or
13. XIII	80. LXXX or XXC	100,000. CCCI or
		500,000. Q

Know the rules otherwise Traffic Police will fool you

Compounding Fees

Home Department Mantralaya from Mumbai 400032 Dated 24th June 1996 Motor Vehicle Act, 19(8)

No. MVA-0593/1708/ CR-29/TRA- 2.- In exercise of the powers conferred by section 200 of the Motor Vehicle Act, 1988(59 of 1988) and of all other powers enabling it in this behalf and in supersession of all notifications issued in this behalf, the government of Maharashtra hereby specifies the officers of the rank of Sub -Inspector of Police in the police dept. (Traffic ) and the Inspector of the Motor Vehicles Department, to be the officers by whom any offense under the section specified in column (3 ) of the scheduled hereto may either before or after the institution of the prosecution, be compounded for the amount specified in column (4) of the said schedule.

Note : Under section 177 of Motor Vehicle Act
Fine charged for rule violation done by Cab and Auto Rickshaw is Rs 50/- and for Other Vehicles fine is Rs 100/-
List of Important Traffic Offences & Compounding Fee Charged

Sr.No.	Description of Offences	Motor Vehicle Act Sections	Compounding Fee (In Rs)
1	Parking in 'No Parking' Zone.	MVA - 119/177	100
2	Parking at a corner/turning.	MVA - 119/177	100
3	Double Parking of Vehicle.	MVA - 119/177	100
4	Vehicle entering in a 'No Entry' Zone.	MVA - 119/177	100
5	No 'U' Turn.	MVA - 119/177	100
6	Obstruction to other vehicle or Pedestrians.	MVA- 122/177	100
7	Driving on the wrong side.	MVA- 119/177	100
8	Overtaking a vehicle from left side.	MVA-119/177	100
9	Disobeying traffic signs or signals.	MVA-119/177	100
10	Carrying passenger on footboard.	MVA-123/177	100
11	Licence not in possession.	MVA-130/177	100
12	Owner not giving information about his / her driving License.	MVA- 133/177	100
13	Using unsafe vehicle.	MVA- 190(1)/177	100
14	Driving under influence of Alcohol.	MVA- 185(1)	Non Compoundable
15	Driving two wheeler without a Helmet	MVA- 129/177	100
16	Carrying passengers on Bonnet/Cabin/ running Board.	MVA- 123(2)/177	100
17	Driving without Licence.	MVA- 3(1)/181	300
18	Giving vehicle to a person who has no driving licence.	MVA- 5/180	300
19	Rash Driving.	MVA- 184	500
20	Underage person (below 18 Yrs of age) driving geared vehicle.	MVA- 4(1)/181	300
21	Underage person (below 16 Yrs of age) driving non- geared vehicle.	MVA- 4(1)/181	300
22	Speeding or Lane cutting.	MVA- 112/183	200
23	Driving or giving out for use uninsured vehicle.	MVA- 146/196	300
24	Triple seat driving.	MVA-128	100
25	Driving or giving out for use unregistered vehicle.	MVA- 39/192	1000
26	Unauthorised transport of passengers or goods without valid permit.	MVA- 66(1)/192	Non Compoundable
27	Ignoring Traffic Officer's Signal.	MVA- 132(1)a/179	200
28	Parking Rickshaw/Taxi not in an Authorised Rickshaw Stand.	MMVR-21(5)/177	50
29	Demanding excess Auto / Taxi meter charges.	MMVR- 21(12)/177	50
30	Auto or Taxi driver refusing to carry passenger(s) to nearby destination.	MMVR- 22(d)/177	50
31	Demanding Auto / Taxi fare beyond the Meter Charges applicable.	MMVR-21(d)/177	50
32	Dazzling/Glaring Light.	MMVR- 235/177	100
33	Illegal/Fancy Number Plate.	MMVR- 235(2)/177	100
34	Parking On Footpath.	MMVR- 237(1)/177	100
35	Auto / Taxi driver deliberately not taking the shortest route to a passenger's destination.	MMVR- 21(8)/177	50
36	Auto / Taxi drivers soliciting passengers.	MMVR-21(13)/ 177	50
37	Auto / Taxi driver smoking while driving.	MMVR- 21(16)/177	50
37	Auto / Taxi driver not in uniform while driving.	MMVR- 31(1)/177	50
38	Carrying persons or articles causing obstruction to the driver's seat.	MMVR- 23(1)/177	50
39	Blowing horn in a Silence Zone.	MMVR- 231/177	100
40	Driving Auto/Taxi without valid badge.	MMVR- 24(2)/177	50
41	Carrying Goods of more than 12 feet in height.	MMVR- 229/177	100
42	Driving heavy vehicle with Back Door or Latch Open.	MMVR- 229(2)/177	100
43	Not having Light on Number Plate	MMVR- 236(1)/177	100
44	Negligence while reversing your vehicle.	MMVR- 233/177	100
45	Filling of less petrol by Taxi/Auto driver while carrying passenger(s) .	MMVR- 21(14)/177	50
46	Not keeping Auto / Taxi Clean.	MMVR- 21(29)/177	50
47	Carrying excess passengers in Auto/Taxi...	MMVR- 21(20)/177	50
48	Not having side or rear view mirror.	MMVR- 161/177	100
49	Keeping TV set or Video on Dash Board.	MMVR- 162/177	100
50	Using mobile phone while driving.	MMVR- 250(a)/177	100
51	Stopping on Zebra crossing.	MMVR- 237(1)/177	100
52	Driving without Mud Guard.	MMVR- 165/177	100
53	Driving without wiper in rainy season (3/4 Wheelers).	CMVR-101/177	100
54	Driving with worn out or torn tyres.	CMVR-94(2)/177	100
55	Driving without reflector light.	CMVR-104(1)/ 177	100
56	No Head/Tail Lamps.	CMVR- 105/177	100
57	Vehicle stopping without flashing parking light at night.	CMVR- 109/177	100
58	Blowing or installing of Pressure/Multisound Horn.	CMVR -119(2)/190( 2)MVA	500
59	Dark tinted glasses (less than 75% Visibility from outside).	CMVR-100/177	100
60	Not displaying 'L' Board (Front & Rear) incase of learner's License.	CMVR- 3(c)/177	100
61	Offence under Emission Control Act.	CMVR-115(2)/ 190(2)MVA	500
62	Parking on wrong side.	RRR-15(2)(1) /177	100
63	Parking or stopping within 10 mtrs of a Bus Stop.	RRR-15(2)(1) /177	100
64	Stopping on a Bridge.	RRR-15(2)(1) /177	100
65	Stopping within an Island.	RRR-15(2)(1) /177	100
66	Driving on wrong side.	RRR-15(2)(1) /177	100
67	Lane Cutting while driving.	RRR-18(2)/177	100
68	Ignoring rules of Road Marking or Lane Marking.	RRR-18(2)/177	100
69	Parking in front of a Gate.	RRR-15(2)(8) /177	100

CRANE / TOWING / LIFTING CHARGES
Sr. No.	Type Of Vehicle	Lifting Charges (Rs) (Charges for 'No Parking' are not included)
1	Heavy Vehicle (Truck /Tanker/Trailers/ Bus)	1,000
2	Medium Vehicle (Tempo)	500
3	Light Vehicle (Car/Jeep)	250
4	Three Wheeler Vehicles	100
5	Two Wheeler Vehicles	50